again, mesmeralda hog-ties CI’s brain

June 22, 2009 – 12:00 am

… and so here we have a thought that won’t dislodge from the gizzard meeting a blog in need of more thought randomization …

is panama’s famed esmeralda — now the subject of frenzied annual auctions and ever-escalating price records — the andy warhol of coffee? it’s a stellar, genre-bending, tell-your-neighbors kind of revelation, a cup this blog once offered to foldgers-only co-workers in full confidence that it would, in a sip, change their view of coffee. true.

but it’s also not 40 times as tasty as the ever-popular ethiopia idido misty valley, as the staggering price tag might indicate. in fact, this blog’s totally randomized aggregator of online esmeralda chatter (poaching mostly from twitter!) reports that tuned-in coffee drinkers overwhelmingly thought this year’s crop less amazing than past versions. (these people would be knowing and perceptive, but not *professional* cuppers. the point here being what serious coffee drinkers thought, as a proxy for specialty consumers, not what the credentialed cuppers said they should think.)

and so what’s to account for this year’s record-shattering price of $117 per pound — the same year most well-known western specialty buyers appears to have pulled back in the bidding? (for reference: 2008 prices)

to a dull and obvious blog like this one, ‘twould seem to be the marketing of esmeralda, as the world’s most expensive coffee, that confers this value. the name, the price, the growing notoriety, at some point, add to what pure taste is worth. the ever-higher auction prices could be spawning ever-higher auction prices!

which may not be bad for specialty coffee in the short term — we’re pretty sure this blog has previously argued somewhere on these interwoven nets that the notoriety and rising prices will surely benefit high-end coffee in general. but what if the Brand — the esmeralda cachet — is the herald of numerous future estate coffee niches … in which value is increasingly divorced from taste? in which marketability IS value?

warhol was, of course, a shape-shifter and cultural wizard with the acuity to pierce the consciousness of even magazine readers and soup-can buyers. but what he left in his wake is undeniably the commercialization of art — or even commercialization AS art.

it’s hard to not to be happy about sky-high esmeralda prices. it is, after all, an extraordinarily subtle and delicious coffee. but this blog wonders if the phenomenon doesn’t end up kick-starting an uneasy trend, at least for those devoted to taste as a measuring stick.

p.s. this blog is fully aware that pieces of this idea bubbled up on twitter WEEKS ago, and even on the slow-plodding blogs. so what? sometimes it takes us YEARS to come up with the right analogy!

p.p.s. yes, this blog was able to dip its amateur schnoz into this year’s top lots. our faves: the $27.50-per-lb caballeriza and $29 san jose, though the reserva DID offer some of the most delicate little twists of lily and lime we can remember detecting on our own …

UPDATE: further evidence that the esmeralda’s price can’t possibly be all taste-based: sweet maria’s is now selling one of last year’s top mesmeralda lots at less than half the original price — while claiming the beans “are fresh as they day they came in!” given the scrupulous storage method, this is probably true. so, what has changed from a year ago?

coffee philosophy of the day so far

May 21, 2009 – 2:27 pm

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Things you see on coffee trips ix

May 17, 2009 – 2:20 pm

Sun. crepes and communal existence at cincy’s speckled bird cafe. Vital.


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Things you hear on coffee trips viii

May 17, 2009 – 10:00 am

Blogmom orders americano @ mccafe. Barista grabs old coffee, gives it a steam. The end.


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Things you see on coffee trips vii

May 16, 2009 – 3:27 pm

higher grounds cafe in traverse city, mi. S.o. Coffee in refurb warehouse. Whoa.


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Things you see on coffee trips vi

May 14, 2009 – 11:59 am

In the vast north of mich, it’s pre-spring, and we hunt local roasters 4 warmth.


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Things you see on coffee trips v

May 14, 2009 – 11:58 am

In the vast, high-unemployment north of mich, it’s pre-spring, and we hunt local roast


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Things you see on coffee trips iv

May 13, 2009 – 1:11 pm

Sign says, ’stinking creek road.’ blogson equates it to a river of starbucks.


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coffee + donut, home junkie-ized

May 11, 2009 – 1:03 am

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hey, kids! come get your hoffmann donut porridge!

why should this blog explain to you the formative concepts behind this beverage — the infamous coffee and a donut — when its inventor pulls back the curtain so much more … dashedly!

it’s an off-duty reporter’s dream, really: loll on the free bar at the world barista championship, drinking james hoffmann’s liquid genius and jotting down juicy, irresistible quotes as he slings beverages for a small gaggle. he’d used this drink, of course, to help win the u.k.’s 2007 barista championship, and it had long bewitched us for its sheer madcap-ness: morning coffee + fresh baked krispy kremes, in entirely liquid form. hoffmann still says it ranks as his favorite signature beverage evar.

he also said a few other things!

* “Signature drinks need a sense of humor.”
if you don’t have Sense of Humor, substitute seven feet of british barista.

* “Everyone likes it really, because it’s stupid.”
if that were true, everyone would have LOVED that wasabi mocha from the 2005 southeast regionals.

* The barista competition “is a game. It’s not about being a line barista.”
this blog’s line barista has certainly never liquified a donut on our behalf.

* “This signature drink is always something I really enjoyed, even though it is a very wrong thing to do to coffee.”
turning hot krispy kremes into vomitous porridge, one could argue, is also a very wrong thing to do to a donut.

* “The fat in here is really ruining the foam.”
also, our languishing fatty pancreas.

stunningly enough, james also shared the recipe — foolishly opening the door for this blog to home junkie-ize the inspired madness. lacking a centrifuge, which we understand is the donut liquification Tool of Choice, we were reduced to mashing a dozen of the yeasty air-jetted tubulars with milk, then mashing and separating, chilling and straining, straining and chilling, for nearly three days.

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breakfast grows less, and less, and less, appetizing.

the resulting milky liquid — or as we like to call it, “jus de bon-bon” — was somewhat greasier than the stuff james served us in atlanta, but still mostly devoid of the largest deep-fried globules of sin. chilled it, steamed some, poured it into a single-origin shot of rwanda gkongoro nyarusiza espresso, and …

meh. the initial eye-popping taste of perfect donut essence quickly melted into disappointment with how it paired with our coffee. tasted sort of muddy, like a burnt coffee frappe someone had tried to rescue with donut syrup. ration adjustments helped, but the beverage didn’t sing until we tried it with shots of toscano, pulled fairly short (25 seconds) on the gb5 at coffee and crema.

the donut actually hits you first and last. you think, “whoa, oven baked.” then spicy chocolate espresso in the middle and a loooong, lingering lipidic pastry aftertaste, doubtless from the fat. there’s something deeply disconcerting about the method it took to properly steam the stuff — loud and slurpy and nukey. there was also some reflex within this blog to add as little donut juice as possible, when in fact it was a larger portion that settled in and felt balanced. something like two parts jus to three parts spro. something tasted almost wintergreen up top, and something else tasted almost like baked peaches down low.

but perhaps we’re splitting hairs. the customers guffawed and slurped mightily. the home-bar visitors sat and marveled and asked for another. and this blog’s sacred container of liquid bakery is well nigh spent.

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monument to james.

the swan also kills innocent trees

May 8, 2009 – 2:14 am

and they say newspapers are dying.

today’s package of tree pulp brought immortality to the much-discussed underdog swan pour and added significant value to last week’s latte art hoedown — a feature written by a true outsider with a talent for processing the insanity she witnessed. if the live twittering was your fix, and after-blogging your chaser, then lillia’s piece is your hearty course meal.

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web version of the story here. more photos, we hear, are floating around the ether. related review of shannon’s new forest park shop here.

UPDATE: key quote, from octane’s helfen:

“Respect the swan, dude,” Helfen says still shaking his head. “You gotta respect the swan.”

we’ll need two holsters

May 6, 2009 – 10:21 pm

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um. musket-loaded espresso?!

the way this blog’s mypressi twist comments are unspooling, we might just call for a lowbrow pocket spro-off between the new injection-molded marvel du jour and that supposedly pre-existing handpresso device, which appears to be made of, you know, metal parts. also, it’s french!

which is like saying the turkish grinder wins because it’s made of shiny brass.

oddest of all, perhaps, is that the makers of handpresso appear to have begun a photo contest featuring the handheld device in exotic locales. if only the folks at mypressi had tried such a stunt, this blog might have submitted a few

p.s. wait, comments from attentive french people and academics? what is this blog, respectable?

swan flu

May 5, 2009 – 11:12 am

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hoedown stunner. (all images by jake, of j4 studios.)

suspiciouser and suspiciouser is how you might describe these burgeoning southeast latte art competitions in which, no matter how many credentialed latte artists are in the house, the host barista seems to always win! so convenient!

there was jason dominy winning his own grand prize in charlotte, octane’s danielle outpouring some of the world’s best in her own atlanta bar last month and now, most staggeringly, coffee and crema’s alex beating jason AND danielle AND former millrock champion ben helfen in his own bar’s grand opening hoedown.

“throwdowns,” we suppose, are SO last year. latte art HOEdowns, though, have all the throbbing aura of a southern corn-pone pig pickin’.

“rigged?” the word was shouted in humor a few times in what was definitely the weirdest, funniest, most wildly unpredictable latte art bash this blog has ever attended. sundry live twitterers were sure to agree. if you get philosophical enough about it, though, you can actually come up with a pretty good explanation for the alex medina stunner that gives him credit for being gutsy, bringing down the house, pouring a rare latte swan at a crucial turn and grabbing that new grand-prize vario grinder all for himself. shucks, if you’re philosophical enough, you can explain anything!

the wrenching tick-tock hath already been posted here. this blog will boil down the plot twists into handy, over-reaching bulleted observations!

1. consumer judges. two of the three, at least, seemed to be gloriously unconcerned with the subtle difficulties of pouring a sharp, complex tulip. when confronted with a surprise swimming pond animal, however, the impression was profound. in other words, it was an expectations game — a consumer’s expectations. instructive! and, when you think about it, a possibly rad way to judge a latte art competition.

2. homecourt advantage. there’s nothing like the aural explosion that follows an unexpected twist from the local underdog. you might imagine the impact such a crowd reaction would have had on the judges themselves, whose own camera phones whipped out and whose ears were full of badgering opinions when it came down to a decision. alex played the field perfectly.

3. the swan itself. this blog, having sort-of demonstrated the idea a week earlier, didn’t even THINK about trying it in the heat of competition. everyone’s nerves were oddly on edge for such a collegial smackdown, and alex must have been especially nervous. to try the swan, then, after a mere week of practice, and to plop it down against a barista with tattoos of his winning latte arts, was unthinkably gutsy. also, it looked shockingly like a real pond swimmer!

respect the swan. guffaws and head-shaking followed the performance into the night. twitter still hasn’t ceased to carry the swan flu. t-shirts are being made. and alex has a deserved bit of liquid notoriety.

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camera phones out. in greenville, swans and tulips are no small thing.

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a surprise wreath, shannon’s tulip and helfen’s version in two stages.

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octane’s danielle, liquid highway’s dustin.

today in c-n-c: a sense of place

April 29, 2009 – 7:43 pm

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there are now a few dents in the butcher-block counter and some shop regulars who join bar conversations like they’ve been kicking around for years. the low-tech pastry display — glass-domed saucers — seems a stroke of budgetary genius for the juicy baked goods therein. they attract quite the longing gazes. patrons are beginning to nod at one another, and the smell of concrete veneer is gone. the new forest park installation of coffee and crema, in other words, is starting to really feel like a place.

you wanted to suck in your breath and cross your fingers when shannon took the dive and wrapped his life into a freestanding shop. the mall kiosk had put him on the map; the full-blown retail shop might well wipe him off of it — or become the first real espresso gathering spot in greenville, the best thing in coffee for 150 miles. quite the gamble, it felt like. not that this blog is privy to the books. just the sweat and tears.

we were, initially, skeptical of the commercial, non-pedestrian space. but then most of the cozy cafes in the heavily walked corridors of town have all gone spectacularly bust numerous times over, and without so much as a wistful hiss of a decent spro finishing its pull. it’s greenville, after all. folks like their consumption in large, dedicated spaces with ample signage. shannon is negotiating the difference, and seems like he could pull it off. there are streams of steady business — nearby tech-school students have no other options, it turns out, nor do conventioneers a half-mile in the other direction. great. get ‘em in. bring your friends. join a cupping.

the gleaming gb/5 is a rightful rock star in these coffee hinterlands. the gaggle of nascent baristas are learning a craft from scratch, and wide-eyed. we hear there’s a van — a van — of better-known coffee persons cruising up the interstate for this week’s inaugural event. media coverage, too. and this blog, if it hopes to avoid more limp latte art embarrassment, had better start acquainting itself with an explosive commercial steam wand it has never had reason to use.

latte art throwdowns are so last year. hoedowns, though…

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M’lissed it

April 29, 2009 – 1:20 pm

that breathy l.a. times piece on the new hydraulic-laden intelligentsia coffee shop: which is worse, a hyper-focus on gadgets or the miS-cApitaliZation of M’lissa Owens’ first name?!

the mypressi twist ‘inflames’ your grill

April 28, 2009 – 10:18 am

for those of you who think this blog might be overhyping the new mypressi twist a bit, we humbly note that the scaa’s new product of the year also makes an efficacious flame-throwing device. please keep away from children. also, vexatious tom.

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lights your fire! if you know what we’re sayin’ …

the mypressi twist offers pillow service

April 28, 2009 – 9:42 am

that mypressi twist, it meets you in your groggiest morning need. that tsking tom is probably still asleep.

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spro from your pillow!

the mypressi twist is the water AND the coffee

April 28, 2009 – 7:47 am

turns out that when you have a mypressi twist, you no longer need mere water in your espresso tank. we hope this doesn’t further enrage tut-tut tom.

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the beginning AND the end!

the mypressi twist deodorizes your laundry

April 28, 2009 – 12:43 am

staggering though it is to contemplate, this blog has discovered that the mypressi twist even cleanses your linens in a spectacular fashion. no one tell groucho tom.

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cleanses AND twists!

the mypressi twist fertilizes your garden

April 27, 2009 – 11:20 pm

still more foolish antagonism of that belligerently spectacular “sweet maria’s tom,” featuring these awesomely unlimited uses of the new mypressi twist!

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it suckles the flars!

the mypressi twist fuels your vintage scooter

April 27, 2009 – 10:11 pm

turns out this blog isn’t the only one struggling with drool control over the new mypressi twist. thus emboldened, we’ve decided to further contradict the frothing mad “sweet maria’s tom” by noting some totally fabulous applications of the new twisty espresso wonder!

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pocket scooter fuel!

UPDATE: “… my favorite thing at the SCAA Expo!” - noted guru Peter Giuliano.

mypressi a sulawesi

April 27, 2009 – 12:15 am

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injection-molded spro.

then there was the mypressi twist, revolutionary espresso device of simplicity and ease. or so they said.

without question, the idea of brewing espresso with the punch of a nitrogen cartridge in a hand-held portafilter amounts to heretical folly of the most rankling sort. what will all those la marzocco factory workers do when we replace them with the injection-molded pocket BICs of espresso making?

and so, this blog can’t really blame that curmudgeonly tom — who definitely didn’t put the “sweet” in “sweet maria’s” — for lathering himself up with a bit of belligerent zeal soap. “best new product” inDEED.

and yet: the espresso, we insist, tasted non-horrible.

first we heard of the device in atlanta last week, helfen was waving a flyer and talking about how nine bars of espresso brewing pressure was somehow coming from the handle of this thing. turns out your basic whipped cream nitrogen cartridge supplies the oomph. you grind and pack a regular portafilter basket, fill the chamber just above with boiling water, and pull the trigger.

and then spro happens.

it’s tempting to imagine an application in which, just after hitting the snooze button, this blog could roll over, pull a shot INTO ITS BED MOUTH, and be quasi-juvenated from the comfort of our sheets. alas, the craftsmanship and theater of espresso is part of what pulled us in. also, there would almost certainly be some splashing. we don’t mind brown-flecked pillows so much, but the blogwife might.

the shots of hairbender we had from the mypressi convention booth were actually passable, if somewhat sour. this is likely because the boiling water had obviously been poured in far too long before “brewing.” also, it seemed kind of insane to demonstrate such a product with an espresso as demanding as hairbender.

we ended up thinking that, if we could figure out a way to duct-tape it to our mazzer for safe travel, it wouldn’t make a bad camping brewer — for lazy louts. caffeine addicts, in other words. sold on the virtues of industrialized user ease. with a gamer’s weakness for pressurized gas and triggers. yeah, them.

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target demographic = perfectly clear.

things you see on coffee trips ii

April 26, 2009 – 1:44 am

sumatra: it’s an island, a coffee country and now a truck-stop gas-pump advertising symbol with some mysterious “east asian” pull.

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Things you see on coffee trips

April 25, 2009 – 11:32 pm

Headed back from charleston, on a part-coffee mission. Sign: ‘Prosperity, 11 miles.’


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illustrated tales of the wbc

April 20, 2009 – 11:34 pm

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* chicago’s mike phillips, who seemed to be the one american with an actual probability of winning the world barista championship, ended up third by the skin of his teeth but still managed to capture all sorts of adoring hyperbole from the attendant insiders. did you know, for example, that the sun occasionally emanates from his forehead? or that he brews espresso into his bare hands, causes competition judges to lapse into doe-eyed daydreams and looks equally good lolling about with white ear flowers and cutie barista females? you get the idea. for all the raving this blog heard, though, it was often more about mike’s technical wizardry (stunning, ’tis true) than things people had tasted. we had some shots of mike’s rwandan spro, from another barista at the intelly booth. it was … balanced. red fruits and earthen walnuts. we did not, it should be noted, gaze in wonderment like the judge above.

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* now-former world champion stephen morrissey walked out of the pounding, chockablock “wedding” “reception” for those globetrotting newlywed barista zombies and cursed cheerfully in this blog’s face about the teeming nature of the crowd. then he spotted the blogdaughter, clinging shyly to our left hamstring. he covered his mouth, widened his eyes, and apologized profusely. but really. it was no problem. when we got in the car later that night, this blog simply told its progeny, “don’t listen that that Bad Man. he’s from SCOTLAND.”

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* ben helfen is a t-shirt junkie like you love your grandma. came helfen, trotting across the vast slab of intermediate convention space all a-grin about all kinds of t-shirt meta-humor. see, the current ireland barista champ, apparently, disagrees with the now-former ireland barista champ, whose snobby comment about espresso spawned its own ironic, ben helfen-promoted t-shirt. thus the referential, inside-joke spin-off uber-tee! and if that sort of random linky irony isn’t obscure enough for you, there was also the slayer espresso machine tee. graffiti paint over vintage batman logo. so random! so cool!

which, we suppose, puts helfen in the decidedly pro-slayer camp when it comes to this new machine. other seasoned barista competitor persons from norway = decidedly unimpressed.

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* korean finalist lee jong hoon, having captured the quailing hearts of c-n-c’s shannon and his korean wife youngwha, was clearly feeling the weight of expected glory shortly before his final routine, pacing back and forth as he did before the gaping restroom depot. the distraction of his fans, however, conveniently allowed this blog to become youngwha for convention floor-pass purposes while the korean flag-wavers did their effervescent best stageside.

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* swedish cowboy barista fan club. it does, apparently, exist.

bleary, slapdash update

April 19, 2009 – 9:02 pm

gwilym: the guy somehow more self-effacing than even the last two aw-shucks champions, and still firmly in possession of the trophy.

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April 19, 2009 – 6:22 pm

Spring’s green is lickable and glows like a stage-lit grasshopper when you’re coffee-fed on the interstate from the wbc


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Gwilym wins

April 19, 2009 – 4:49 pm

The professorial pub owner takes it. Now a dynasty in britain. A humble dynasty.


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Blig

April 19, 2009 – 3:33 pm

Blogbody in shock. Massive dough/curd spro from alterra caps our expo binge. Blood like syrup, mind like tapioca.


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the wbc forces us to speak in bullets

April 19, 2009 – 2:38 am

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meme of the world barista championship so far: vitamins. we hear they help with the over-caffeinated jabbers, the undernourished headaches, the shouting-at-the-party voicelessness AND the convention-trade-floor knee pain.

* what strikes you about the much-ballyhooed u.k. barista champion gwilym (rhymes with “swill ‘im”) davies is that he doesn’t act much like a barista — not the english-speaking versions anyway. more like a cheery pub owner who reads kant in his spare time. a tweedy professor, but with more street smarts. a street-wise bloke, but with more twinkly humor. this seems non-incidental. the presentation, at the highest levels of barista competition, seem to reflect more and more the character of the coffee being tasted. so gwilym plays along, describing buttered toast and jelly in his espresso (ha! ha! like breakfast in shropshire!) and then doles out the envelopes: judges’ choice signature drink flavors. and then you think, “wait. that seems hard.” none of the hipster condescension, all of the humble artisan.

* what turned our head about the finalists: (a) no scandinavians, (b) two obscure coffee countries (korea and hungary) and (c) very nearly a producing country in the mix (guatemala rumored to be a close seventh). all firsts?

* what stunned about the other most drooled-upon competitor — chicago’s mike phillips — was the compact, hyper-controlled mastery of technical skills and the easy, man-on-the-street way he could talk about a scintillating coffee. almost like a home espresso junkie on steroids. oh wait! there was the rwandan espresso, chosen a mere two weeks ago and pulled with a 17-gram dose for his spro and cappuccino drinks. then an unprecedented grinder adjustment (!) and a 19-gram updose for longer espresso shots separated halfway through into two separate vessels. the front half: served cold, with augmenting ingredients of its own. then the deep dive, the warmer half with its own complementary substances. we’re pretty sure some judges were gobsmacked: several seemed openly awed when he made the finals.

* what stuck about the massively overpacked counter culture coffee party was the peanut shells that kept tumbling down people’s sweaty shirt collars as they talked and spat. also, the danish creative troubador linus torsater, of coffee collective, who talked as warmly of the residential coffee-buyers on his block in copenhagen as a baker speaks of his baguette patrons.

* what popped about the exhibition-floor coffee from burundi was the sparkling currant front end and the softly tapioca back end. burundi?!

* and so, there was the congealed mass of people in the counter culture training loft, the chummy gaggle of roasters in a downtown sports bar (?!) … and a pensive group of three in a booth at a far-flung pub where craftsman cheese and single-malt options ruled supreme. guess which venue suckered this blog into a bleary early-morning denouement?

World Barista Championship Finalists

April 18, 2009 – 5:36 pm

Usa, uk, ireland, canada, and the underdogs: korea, hungary - this blog’s last name’s country of origin!


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