we’re a-live-bloggin’

April 15, 2005 – 5:04 pm

the metal beast is warming up … and the azimuth just arrived! (azimuth?? that’s what i said…)

sarkis’ expobar has decided to vapor lock. but we will not be deterred! (unless nate can’t find his way here … he’s still lost)

UPDATE:dan looks wasted. unshaven and what-not. erg. but he wants kenya.

UPDATE: sarkis doesn’t know anything. blond-city. first three shots are poo.

UPDATE: sarkis just tried to speak spanish. that silly cypriot.

UPDATE: holy schmoakes. nate roasted an ethiopian harrar in a popcorn popper and i just pulled a shot in the tea … wow. after a dozen or so of our ‘superior’ roasted kenya and monkey blends … ppbbbfffttt. he just kicked our butts. incredible ristretto shot. everyone’s eyes flew open. pics later.

UPDATE: Dan the musician, in reaction to the music: “can we flip this cd or something?”
he’s high.

UPDATE: unreal harrar ristretto followed by a god-shot espresso. we’re agog. nate’s roast is amazing (also: my skillz).

UPDATE: rey is here.
and sarkis just said, “teach me how to use my machine.”
his eyes have been opened.
now we’re discussing channeling … only it sounds funny when a cypriot says it.

UPDATE: sarkis says, of his frothing method: “when i can’t touch it any more, it’s hawt enough.” i about died.
he had about a tablespoon of milk in the tiniest frothing pitcher you’ve ever seen, and just blasted the heck outta that thing. dumped the zapped (no froth) remains in his shot glass and downed it. pinky poking out (pic later). update: sarkis pinkie pic here.
oh, man. we were dying. his shots are getting better, though. “sometimes,” he said, “i dump a little splenda in dere.”
i think jake is going to bust his neck vein. dan is sleeping or something in the other room. rey is begging for a breve. later.

UPDATE: [rambling guest-post by reynaldo] sarkis says, speaking of ben’s machine: “well i’m just going to have to get me one of deese.” meanwhile, ben is going on and on about the ethiopeans: “i can’t believe these beans! did you see these beans?! they’re UNBELIEVABLE! you’ve gotta look at these beans.”
and then, speaking of a proper froth, ben says “you want it to be more like silk; not big bubbles, more silky.” but ben won’t do the latte art; we leave that to sarkis who, says jake, is obviously from a family of artists.
shimon (sp?) says all the good stuff is in the bottom.
“oh no,” says ben, “i mixed half and half with the black currant and it’s going to curdle.”
[let it be said that ben did not write this update. it is obviously not his style. he would have said it all in half as many words.]

UPDATE: the dilemma: how to spend the last shot of nate’s ethiopian that we have. says nate: “aw, yeah, savor the bomb.”
that’s at least three metaphors in five words. or so. i think he’s high.

UPDATE: the ladyes arrived at some point, no one can remember when. i think we’re high.

UPDATE: the extreme-fringe ‘additives’ are becoming more common. dan: an iced irish creme blueberry latte in a martini glass. suweeeet. (i think he’s high).

UPDATE: matt: if you’re out there, reading, then just know that you could have been high. that is all.

UPDATE: forgot to mention the surprise advent of a genial pollock — name’s szymon (“as in shimon peres?” “yes.”). cool dude. he graciously accepted my specialty drink (black currant is involved), even when i forgot to steer clear of the half&half. it curdled in the fruit syrup. note to self: pollocks are nice. so nice, indeed, that they’re willing to compliment one’s drinks even when drinking a yemen-currant strain of liquid cheese.

update: [guest post by nate] Ben-tha-barista champ just tried to kill my wife! His flippin half and half currant is a toxic blend! If I wanted cottage cheese I’d visit the salad bar at Shoneys!

UPDATE: sarkis’ teeth are porcelain. yep. that’s what i said.

UPDATE: on a roll. five straight semi-phenomenal shots with nate’s harrar, then more photo-spread worthiness with my yemen. all turned to breves. some are adding additives. not that it needs it…

UPDATE: there is a lot of coffee poo lying around.

UPDATE: forgot matt’s blend. it’s 9:10 p.m., and we’ve been swilling the good stuff for 4.5 hours. but doggone it, high is high. so shottage for matt follows…

UPDATE: but first! sarkis has topped the night off with revelations of an insane hobby (aside from his cigar, espresso and musician hobbies, of which we have also partaken on this evening cornucopia). he drags out this tupperware with mulberry leaves in it. “my hobby,” he grins. starts tearing up more leaves and chucking them in there. i look closer, and see caterpillars. “silkworms,” he corrects. brought them back from california last week in a film canister, he says. they’ve turned into chubby behemoths in the last week … were mere hair-lings when he brought them home (one fails to conjure the probable reaction of his wife). tearing leaves. more leaves. we watch them gobble. he keeps them merely to watch them fatten, then cocoon themselves, turn to butterflies, lay eggs, and die.
the pollock and the low-budget coffee geek hunch over the tupperware.
“thees ees insaaaaane,” i hear.
unreal. i MUST be high. but i don’t think i am.
this night has been replete with shocking interludes. “more shottage,” i bellow, almost because it is the default exclamation when my eyes blur. but these worms … they’re eating mulberry verdure like there’s no tomorrow. which, of course, there may not be. could be winged muses by the morning…

UPDATE: matt’s blend. to be kind, i’d say there is potential. yeah. like charbucks has potential. is that what you did, matt? bought us cafe-stinking-verona and fed it to the elitists? i’m telling you: ground it as fine an sarkis’ rocky would go, and the bottomless portafilter was BURPING that stuff out. 10 second shot, if that. could be a good blend. but the ash makes it hard to tell.

UPDATE: whoa. ended it with some drinks of an entirely different genre, and espresso chocolate from france (thanks, mom). will process and post pics soon. let me just say: abominations and faux pas’s were plenteous, and the true believers will likely blanche at the above-described free-for-all. BUT! (1) wait until you see the pics. judge then. and (2) this is an educational endeavor here. i cannot force them off their additives and weak drinks at the barrel of a portafilter. these things take time. sarkis, at least, now knows what is possible. even the ladyes were a bit wowed, i think (by the mess? the dilated pupils? the expense involved?). already, the serious cupping and roasting sessions are being planned. word is spreading. like a silkworm’s girth, it is.