we got your exit vortex right here

August 10, 2005 – 9:57 pm

holy mother of pete. if you mosey over to home-barista.com and check out the deliriously detailed breakdown of versalab’s new uber-simple, insanely functional, rave-inducing grinder without the help of a seat back or drool pan, you could easily end up falling to the floor and drowning in pools of your own involuntarily deployed spittle.

and where achingly beautiful close-up photographs of conical burrs and exit vortexes amass, the way-nerdly nerds are sure to congregate. “bearing configs,” “serial paths” and “ducting” are all discussed. go read. and then, go buy a boat on credit so you can mortgage it twice to fund the purchase of the m3!

of course, the caveat. the thing is not possessed of a basic set of dial numbers. are you kidding me?! is this proof that the versalab bigs are so eccentrically talented as engineers that the omission of the most basic of addenda is cause for adulation and postulation on said engineering brilliance? or is this merely a feint to discover what the geeks might come up with to fix the problem? unbeeleevable.

UPDATE: this dude just had the audacity to ask, “What is the bearing configuration supporting the mainshaft (duplex pair? Angular contact W/preload?) And how stable is the burr from being moved off axis?”

this blog thinks that is pretty funny.

UPDATE: someone just had the nerve to post this graph:

this blog is seriously considering calling the department of homeland stinking security.

UPDATE: this blog is also excited to read that there are three grind phases — “crushing, shearing and homogenization.” indeed.

UPDATE: malachi just equated all this fun with precision and science to “one step up from big heavy rocks and a mule.” incredibly, this blog was thinking the exact same thing

UPDATE: aarrrrrrggggggghhhhh! the m3 has died a mysteriously haunting death! also: hauntingly mysterious! this means this saga could soon end, and with it this blog’s brief flirtation with self-referential statements of the third person…

UPDATE: someone just said of the sudden and mysterious demise, “could just be teething pains.”

UPDATE: mr. m3 tester dude just said, “The rumors of my grinder’s demise have been greatly exaggerated.” nothing like a literary allusion to assuage the anxious masses. apparently, an errant stone triggered the grinder’s slow-blow fuse. seeming death segues to actual illumination of still more superior grinder elements! this drama only grows more gripping.

UPDATE: more burrrrrrrrrrrrrs. a photo here is entitled, “Last image captured by many coffee beans on their way down to the belly of the beast.” now that is just scary.

UPDATE: another nerd just said, “a 3 micron change in burr separation will result in a five second difference in shot time, i.e. the difference between a ristretto and a normal double. That’s in line with your 0.0001″ statement.” this blog is greatly relieved.

UPDATE: this blog has decided it can’t take any more of the riveting drama because it is in desperate need of sleep. also: there are no more posts to read.