the s&p 500 urges you to brew at home

August 8, 2006 – 10:24 am

scintillating, charbucks-earnings-drop-related thesis: “the cost of living well is rising more rapidly than the cost of living.

which holds a certain ring of truth for this blog. it was only last week that the meager writer’s salary failed to cover the cost of beaufort special reserve french import cheese for the first time ever! congruously, there seems to be a trend among snobs i know not to shop at all the places everyone else thinks are trendy, instead haunting the local organic foods chain over the mainstream outlet of the perversely gleaming zucchinis.

for the mermaid, of course, both of these factors mean that a sizeable share of its core customer base no longer cares to dole out $5 for a carton of singed peat bog extract. ‘twould seem a fine time to make use of cutting edge internet finance tools to justify fine espresso brewed from home!

p.s. if hoffmann doesn’t curb the feigned disgust with home ‘spro, he might single-handedly deflate this movement before it gets started! “the mess,” james? the fuss? might this snootiness be because you haven’t invested in a dedicated home bar, or because the accomplishments of a competition-circuit barista tend to be directly proportionate to how threatened he feels by the abilities of amateurs? this blog’s home bar is a model of polished, efficient, always-on professionalism!

p.s.s. photographic proof, you say? er … hang on a sec. i’m not cleaning up, i’m whipping up no-mess, no-fuss drinks faster than your full-time neighborhood barista! why … what home junkies have you been hanging around with?

p.s.s.s. hoffmann cautiously repositions — cognizant, perhaps, of the damage that poo-pooing home-junkie-ism could do to his renowned humble-barista image!

we jest, jim.

still, does the clarification do the trick? closer scrutiny reveals a still-lurking notion that “espresso at home is having a positive effect on the industry” — but that it’s obviously better at work. is this necessarily true? and isn’t such segmentation — we like you, amateurs, but stay at home! — every bit as dangerous as telling women they shouldn’t join the workforce? i think it is! particularly when you have amateurs promising to alleviate the tyranny of mechanical limitations, and seasoned pros hitching on their wagons. hoffmann mentions this, but i get the sense that perhaps there hasn’t been much real exposure to home purism, aside from the online forums. time for some reverse colonization!

p.s.s.s.s. CI repositions itself! hoffmann easily slaps down our exposure-to-amateurs comment by noting he “came from a home user background.” ah, well. guess that makes him just “spoilt.” though i still don’t understand how pulling shots at work is any cleaner … unless hoffmann has somehow appropriated the technology behind those patented euro sidewalk bathrooms that self-clean after you shut the door. last spring, on the streets of paris, this blog almost ruined its maroon velvet blazer in one of those.