CI veers erratically toward third-world betterment

February 4, 2007 – 11:20 pm

grainy frame-grabs unanimously agree: the all-clad presso looks like it could also punch rivets in your forehead.

while media-lavished coffee luminaries are off slurping or shunning native african brews as moods dictate, this blog’s bush-dwelling relatives have no choice — and now regularly torment our fine sense of quality consciousness haute gluttony with gleeful evidence of hopelessly sordid swill. clearly, a little international espresso misseology has been in order … meaning a hunt for non-electric bush equipment.

we cast a net in the usual places, lurked for months on italian and german ebay pining after gas-fired lever antiquities and at last lighted on the out-of-circulation all-clad presso, with its sloping metal arms and minimalist arch-like structure — like some elegant device of medeival upper-class torture.

alas, schulman was right — a rubber gasket that rolls down to let water into the brew cylinder, then rolls up to seal in the pumping pressure, is ingenious (geek it here). ’tis also gravely undermined by a fatal machine flaw — an air-trapping brew cycle. nothing a bit of sawing and dremeling couldn’t fix, though, and the bioluminescent cypriot’s place of work offered both the requisite sharp utensils and a representatively primitive audience for our test runs!

result: seriously impressive lever shots that rival the coddled riviera for transparent shot clarity and sweet, strong old-skool minispros. also: this blog’s devastatingly informative instructional video, framed with stunning cinematographic innovation and complete with a bit of modest mouse accompaniment, wailing from the blogdaughter and chandler burr-like taste descriptions!

we’re warning you: amateurism has never stooped so low.

click for video

UPDATE: did we mention you can pick one up for $50? buy yours today.

UPDATE: no, the chadian bush offers no opportunities for roasting and grinding, though that could change in the near future. meanwhile, schulman offers an unthinkable stopgap solution … but you didn’t hear it from this blog.