cloy, blinged

May 16, 2007 – 11:02 pm

this blog guesses that, no matter how deliriously stoked you may be about those ridiculous hand-spun, platinum-trimmed, plank-thick tulip espresso cups you aren’t as stoked as the bioluminescent cypriot, who not only snagged one in nearly every stunning color, but has taken to photographing them around his house in conjunction with color-coordinated works of art:

it’s true — notable coffee luminary persons have been drooling like teething tykes over these pricey bits of ceramic. and so, this blog bought one for said cypriot’s citizenship bash. upon which he stared blankly at the generosity and said, “i’ve just ordered 12 jillion of those — in individual silk sachets!” or words to that effect.

the artless crook-pated nabob

UPDATE: he said it: “that bioluminescent cypriot is an animal!” to which this blog adds: a loaded, lucre-bathing animal.

UPDATE: this blog doesn’t blame you for being skeptical — these morsels of beverage containership cost upwards of $30. thus, some photographic evidence that this cypriot is, indeed, a repititively craven man (and these are just the capp vessels):

this blog has no idea what they’re doing on the stove cup warmer …

UPDATE: this blog has it on very good authority that the cypriot ordered eight more today. yes, eight. that makes the total price tag equivalent to a new rancilio silvia … five hours behind the wheel of a ferrari … a 10-pack of veuve clicquot!

UPDATE: the blogmother being alone in paris for mother’s day, we had thought it would be terra keramik to exemplify our global dedication. alas, the u.s. distributor of the porcelain goods seems a completely different beast from the german-speaking swiss producers. how to rush a shipment to france? in a panicky lather, we tried a painstaking, word-by-word translation of the german site for indigenous web ordering and speedy european delivery (say! that “ort” ain’t a request for a gruesome medical catalogue … it means “place”!). still, the site no worky.

back to the ‘mericun folk, then, who swiftly took it upon themselves — on a weekend — to investigate the order, call the european progenitor and place it by telly. the service, we say, has been nothing short of beauteous and gobsmacking. thus, sometime soon in a remote chadian village, a couple platinum tinged spro cups will arrive to complement the blogfamily’s wilderness lever device.

maybe even some native will happen to use them and remark how those massive ceramic sidewalls are like sticking the thick end of a mango between the kissers.