Archive for category ‘subjective swilling’

case closed

Tuesday, October 17th, 2006

continuing its proud tradition of public service, this blog should note that the previously referenced coke blak will, heretofore, be known as coke blek. saccharine faux-coffee tastes -- almost like a candy root beer barrel -- that do little but remind you of stale. and not even useful for road-tripping.

non-telling mediocrity descriptors

Tuesday, September 19th, 2006

lunch hour: mindlessly pulling darker-than-ever shots of decidedly mediocre house blend 2. (tangent: i don't know why the cypriot buys this stuff. worse, i don't know why we morbidly plod over to his studio, day after day, in a futile effort to torque something respectable out of his quasi-mediocre e61 ...

note to cypriot: it’s not supposed to taste like coffee

Tuesday, September 12th, 2006

who needs the crutch of a coffee flavor wheel when you can read the new york times' new perfume critic instead? it's like a word-of-the-day calendar confined to sensory observations! some chandler burr excerpts (courtesy cjr): "Dolce & Gabbana's Light Blue is an absolutely terrific perfume, rich without a trace ...

coffee: the original

Thursday, September 7th, 2006

this blog having spent a sodden night swilling quishr... heh. just wanted to be able to say that. street cred with the bioluminescent cypriot, you know. as it happens, the rumored dearth of "true" quishr recipes on the world-global innernecks is absolutely true. coffee luminaries throughout the epochs, of course, have ...

CI does the extraction factor juggle

Saturday, September 2nd, 2006

the sulawesi, it tasted of baked hash. maybe some newt tail. extraordinarily gritty. thus, conjuring the notion that brew temperature is how one buys espresso solubles, the conclusion was reached that we were, ah, overpaying. that is, the extraction of oils was heavily tainted by the extraction of bean infrastructure ...

CI, personal research assistant to rich westerfield

Monday, July 31st, 2006

sacrilege in progress. somewhere off camera, the blogbrother is neglecting his backsplash-cleaning duties. note to rich: mesmeralda, in espresso form, loves you best at a spookily charbuckian 204 degrees fahrenheit, in this blog's humble estimation. in the face of a swelling onslaught of dissent as to the loveliness of 'lady ez' in ...

mesmeralda, columnized

Tuesday, July 25th, 2006

annnnnd, while we're immortalizing the words of the bioluminescent cypriot, we might as well note that the genteel columnist whose desk location dooms her to constant exposure to this blog's incessant coffee blathering attended last week's esmeralda incantation -- and found the accented one eminently quotable. About 20 minutes into a ...

shattering normalcy

Friday, July 21st, 2006

ah, well, it happens: you bask in a seven-shot esmeralda breakfast only to sordidly devolve into experimental afternoon shottage of twice-roasted cypriotic poo. we've all done this, i'm sure. there is nothing, i say, like despoiling the floral morning mouthcoat with a bit of liquefied michelin tire. you might call ...

coda

Wednesday, July 19th, 2006

"Eef dat coffee was around and Napoleon knew about eet, he would have conquered Russia. Beethoven would have rewritten the feefth symphony." ...

smackdowney advancements

Tuesday, July 4th, 2006

hard to imagine, really, but nate the finger has voluntarily forfeited his spot amongst the south-bound chicago junkies journeying to partake of our free array of panamanian sublimity ... something about mumble-mumble, something "due date" something. which leaves us hosting the nate-less smackdowne de panama in two installments. one on saturday, ...

WBC: afar-blogging

Sunday, May 21st, 2006

james hoffmann's el salvador finca la fany bourbon used in his competition blends. with james safely in the world barista championship finals, it falls to this blog to make wildly unwarranted performance extrapolations based on a single component of his competition blend. stunning, really, how a crashing hoffmann had the ...

pointless oglery

Tuesday, May 9th, 2006

amayzin' things happ'nin with the puro scuro tonite -- spicy, brooding, read-a-musty-volume things.

how we gush in the wasteland

Monday, May 1st, 2006

kite day at the beach, from which one might correctly infer a short-lived stay. something about nine-month-olds' ears not tolerating such windspeeds without grave, tedious consequences involving garlic oil and cotton balls... salient gist: more time to cafe loll, chez the rapidly improving muddy waters so recently joshed in these ...

profound(ly senseless) modifications

Saturday, April 29th, 2006

the basic boiler insulation job: not the results i thought. should have done this long ago, of course, but now that i've wrapped the flaming canister in a rubber-and-foil parka, it seems to hyperventilate. "please. not so much heat that we can't breathe." which was the point. coat ...

oh yeah: actual cup improvements

Tuesday, April 25th, 2006

thought about wading into this nonsense, numchucks afly. but no. perfectly adequate meaty rebuttals have been filed. it's the new blog! no more superfluous echo-punditry here, no sirree. [my only succinct (!) take is here]. and so, we dragged ourselves back to the bar, where this blog is assiduously working ...

USBC: your blazing signature rip-off, right here

Sunday, April 16th, 2006

wonder how the conventioneers would have handled this -- a cruel 92 carolina degrees with no sign of the proverbial april showers. all swelter, no rain. like an idling e61 sans flush. plenty of brew temp without the brew. like schecter's french-roast blend at 5.5 bar. (do we need any ...

what weeklong hiatuses will produce:

Thursday, March 23rd, 2006

mother tay-AH was doing fine, fine things this morning:

blundering toward ploof reduction

Wednesday, March 22nd, 2006

warning: vast, overreaching conclusion-making follows. a sign of this blog's recent troubles: the only source of caffeine for the past 36 hours is excedrin migraine. (not, mind you, that this blog was breaking any federal laws by using medication for non-legitimate uses ... the headache, it was real -- and probably ...

when what you really want is ‘taste amnesia’

Thursday, March 16th, 2006

wednesday: wherein the sporadic quest to find a more narrowly suited milk for my espressos suffers a setback. turns out the locally grazed raw whole from white's jersey dairy tastes a bit like goulash. also: corned beef. obliterated the puro scuro much the way carnation bar-b-meat might sully an oyster. just ...

speaking of mediocre greenvillian coffee product…

Saturday, March 11th, 2006

40 minutes in, the foam clung to the cardboard sidewall like CO2-injected polymer beach-scrape. no amount of foggy riverside ambience could salvage the marred morning aesthetic, i tell you. 'nuff said about this town's pretenders...

fresh hope in a double-macc wasteland

Monday, March 6th, 2006

saturday being beach day, i dug up an old CG thread that gave hope: perhaps, at last, someone would be slinging truly drinkable espresso in south carolina. now before you sling me a slew of pixelized spite, consider: one greenville shop is just now figuring out roasting, with presumably no ...

universal points of application, bulleted for easy use

Tuesday, February 28th, 2006

the cypriot decides cupping spoons are for the birds. his palate, it turned out, had been fried the night before as you might have expected from a blog that loathes the personal sort of event rehash common to many other topical haunts, the smackdown d'espresso and general vice offered some sparkly ...

post-euro cocoonishness

Tuesday, February 21st, 2006

a brooding france trip being what it is, the return assimilation always comes with its glaring signs of denial: $75 in cheese purchases at the local market grocery store, a desperation lever shot of 17-day puro scuro leftovers, a stack of french chocolate and a color prinout of the day's ...

token post from abroad

Thursday, February 16th, 2006

thankfully, there are some in paris who share my view of the city's espresso. ahem. i've not proffered the postage i had anticipated ... thanks to a wi-fi signal in our paris apartment that makes the beach boys' career look steady and uninterrupted by comparison. on the 'spresso front, things ...

shoe-leather reporting

Wednesday, February 1st, 2006

not even a hearty updose (finer points notwithstanding) could fix the guat (note the screen impression, also known as the aussie merit badge). we'll not belabor this. the bioluminescent cypriot, it turns out, has resorted to "blending" (muddling?) the battery-acid guat with the mud-brick zim -- a coagulation, it turns ...

levered weekend, coda

Sunday, January 29th, 2006

the levered weekend, aired out in all its forms -- from dribbling mexican sublimity to experimental crusty-foam macc action. said weekend-o-leverage self-terminated with a gag shot (e.g. a practical joke that triggered homonym reflex) courtesy the bioluminescent cypriot. or maybe it was my fault. the curtailing stinger went down like this: ...

updosing is like a cheap date!

Wednesday, January 25th, 2006

the resident home barista over at the third-wave echo chamber restates what some believe is the test case for aussie-style updosing. no one, however, seems eager to do the actual test of instaurator's hydraulic theory so succinctly extrapolated by george sabados in barista mag and so recently wielded by this ...

CI clumsily wields the hydraulic principle!

Monday, January 23rd, 2006

there is a dramatic difference in cup character between SM's zimbabwe aaa+ and the award-winning leopard forest zimbabwe aa+ bizarrely imported directly to tiny travelers rest, s.c. (the background) -- a taste divergence easily explained by numerous differences in the cultivar, processing and import route of the respective coffees. but ...

your mother lode of tactile adjectives, right here

Thursday, January 12th, 2006

"this is no game," he said. "you will never know what it’s like to work on a farm until your hands are raw, just so people can have fresh marijuana." which is, like, totally true duuuude. i won't know. it's also like saying one's barista skillz may never be taken seriously ...

cliffy’s notes

Sunday, January 8th, 2006

findings in a nutshell: i don't know what makes some beans workable ... but i think roast profile is a major factor. i also know that stretching a batch into 12 minutes on a hot air roaster is a bad idea. makes for general mud-brick characteristics with hints of mud, ...